Thursday, July 3, 2008


ever been in a gang? when i was little i was always in a gang. my friendship groups became gangs... and the name of the gang was generally a weirdo word made up of the first letters of our names... like J.J.A.M. now that's the shit.

and our gangs always had a base. in primary school our base was the SNOT SHIP... a wooden construction in the playground that we baggsed as our own and the other kids knew not to sit there or there'd be trouble.

my cousins and i were also a gang. a gang of little shits who used to steal kids balls and play 'keepings off' just for the fun of it. yup. we ruled the blacky south primary school oval on weekends... riding mini motorbikes full speed across the footy field and crashing into the metal fence cos we'd lose control showing off to the other kids... and then uncle terry would give us a hiding for being dickheads. suburban justice.

i'm now heading towards my late twenties and find myself about as happy as i was when i was 8 years old. which was a bloody sweet time. at my current age, i feel very similar to who i was when i was a little kid. i play, i take risks and i have a confidence in my gut that only kids have because they just do what feels right regardless of what anyone else thinks. i am once again a little shit. if only i knew i had it right back then.

my teens were spent wondering why it wasn't cool to play 40 / 40 at lunch time and trying to get used to the social ritual of kissing someone you didn't care too much about when you greeted them. and my early 20s were spent trying to be impressive. yawn.

but now... nearly 20 (post-little-shit) years later i have a GANG again and it's cowabunga cool. we're mainly a bunch of tomboys who like to ride bikes on the weekend, crash on each other's couches, dress up for parties like TUFF MUFF, punch each other (tough love) and just hang out. we've got each other's backs and there's a code of respect that just happened by itself. we talk about girls and try to figure them out... and when it all gets too much we kick the footy or go shopping for flannies. ok we're not THAT brain dead. tix moisturises and skillz knows how to screen print and sew. impressive on both fronts. and wheels knows more about history than my nanna. and i can.... ummmm... do stuff too.

the other saturday we went shopping for military gear for the tuff muff 'women in uniform' party. we met at aussie disposals around lunchtime and spent about an hour trying on camo gear and parading around the store like a bunch of excited lezzers.... for us, this was the equivalent of shopping for the school formal dress.

after purchasing our gear we walked back to my car to inspect my back tyre which i had a feeling might have been flat... well it looked pretty flat when tix and i got out of the car before going shopping. sure enough it was flat. THIS WAS A CHALLENGE FOR GANG.

skillz took the lead having a changed a few tyres in her time... whipping off my hubcaps (that sounds dirty but isn't) and getting the bald spare tyre out of my boot. wheels got her camera out and took pictures of the action. tix was the foreman and gave direction... and i was employed to unscrew the nuts which took brute strength (which is my skill apparently).


the following weekend we went to tuff muff. after having an awesome gang roast dinner at tix's place (where i was taught how to roast) the four of us got on the tram and headed to collingwood. cars tooted at us and people stared... and it was awesome... strength in numbers (especially with gay epilates on our shoulders...) lucky we weren't travelling to frankston. as soon as we got off the tram a bunch of drunk (i think) gay-lady-folk rushed at us like groupies and touched our outfits. they even tracked us down later that night. shit hey.

and best of all... (well there were better moments in the evening... for me this was pashing bob the builder at the request of some random punter in the toilet queue who wanted to take a picture of us)... we won the costume comp.