Sunday, August 3, 2008

mons'n'roses

i've loved guns'n'roses ever since i was a little kid. i love the music. i love the band. and i love the man... AXL ROSE. so... he might be an egotistical wanker but my love for him is unconditional. the aiyeeyaiyeeeyaiii voice... the bandanna and bike shorts... the distinctive swaying moves... for me, he's the ultimate rock star.

my love for this band peaked in 1991 when the gunners' track YOU COULD BE MINE featured in TERMINATOR 2 JUDGMENT DAY.

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those of you familiar with my blog will already know how important this film and arnold schwarzenegger were to me back then. i wanted to be a motorbike riding cyborg like arnie and i wanted to save the future. and the fact that the gunners' music video featured footage from the movie almost made me wet myself every time it came on rage. even though i don't believe in heaven... i reckon it'd have to be as cool as this:



which is why, as an 11-year-old tomboy, i was inspired to recreate the magic that is YOU COULD BE MINE by G'N'R'S at somers caravan park over the christmas holidays:



since then, my love for axl has not subsided. i even entered a drag king competition a few years ago and performed a cave man act to WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE... cutting up my great grandma's fur coat in the process to make a loin cloth.

i didn't win. it was more like weirdo tarzan performance art than a drag act and alienated the lesbians who wanted to see dildo-wearing, moustached dykes miming to emo tunes. but i belted my chest and ate bananas on stage.

and then, last year, axl toured under the name GUNS'N'ROSES even though it was him and a bunch of session musos playing old gunners tracks (cos none of the original band members like him these days). but i fuckin loved it.

my mate sparrow and i dressed up as flannel x acid wash clad cock-rockin bogans and got a spot right up the front... with all the other flannel x acid wash clad cock-rockin bogans who didn't seem to have the same sense of irony as us... but i'm from wantirna so can't really talk.

and we got crushed and had beer tipped on us and it was like being in heaven... if only arnie was there... but these days he's busy saving the future of california or something...

2 comments:

skillz said...

My favourite all time version of this song! nothing beats an 11 year old saying "with your bitch slap rappin' and your cocaine tongue"!!!!!!

ps glen wasn't a dildo wearing king!!! sure, he had a goatee but he still had class right? right!?!! hehehehe

Anonymous said...

Mon - that was too funny! you are fkn hilarious. The invisible man mc'ing you sounds like he used to be on radio selling appliances.

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