Monday, April 14, 2008

queer kids in the kitchen

my cousin little pete is about the closest thing i've got to a sibling. he's called little pete because his dad is big pete. and it's not just to do with age. little pete is an incredibly pretty, pint-sized, twink who (when working at the peel) would jump on top of the bar and sexy dance whenever christina aguilera's 'dirrty' came on...

his dad on the other hand is the strongest and toughest of all my dad's brothers... like a cross between the terminator and crocodile dundee. i'll tell you why soon.

growing up pete and i were close... much closer than all the other cousins. and guess what? we both turned out gay... and while no one ever said anything when we were little... the writing was on the wall.

every saturday at nan's place pete would want to style my nan's hair and give her a makeover... i'd yell if he touched my knotted mane... as i rolled back and forth on a skateboard in nan's kitchen telling him to hurry up so we could go explore storm water drains. but he loved that stuff too... and there was always enough time to play all sorts of games (creek jumping, nick knocking, motorbike riding, taste testing, cubby house making, tree climbing, roof jumping, roof rocking, slip n sliding... the list goes on) so our weekends spent together were the coolest ever.

my uncle big pete is like an ocker cyborg. his body is made up of metal plates from a zillion motorbike racing accidents that have shattered his bones... and while he walks with a limp... he is inhumanly strong (apparently, it took 4-5 police officers to get him into a divvy van one afternoon after a plumbers' pub crawl that got out of hand... and he didn't start it... he just looks like he'd start something). but big pete is also your typical charming larrikin... english backpackers always want him to act out scenes from croc dundee... "you call that a knife?!"


and big pete, for all his toughness, was one of the best playmates a kid could have had. he'd take all us cousins down the creek where we'd make bike swings (same as rope swings except you tie a bmx on the end of the rope and ride off the bank of the creek)... and do other adventurous things that normal grown ups wouldn't let you do... most likely because they were either dangerous or illegal. and every adventure was always followed by a stop off at dairy bell on the way home...

(FYI... we either travelled on the back of big pete's motorbike or in the sidecar... or in the back of his panel van where we'd get him to do 'swervies' down nan's street so we'd all get chucked around). THE BEST.

even though they are complete opposites, it seems little pete has inherited big pete's invincibility. while big pete has lived through motorbike crashes, fist fights, a near broken neck (from a push bike accident... there was a low hanging branch) and wing chun blood baths (did i mention he did some strict, traditional form of kung fu for a while?)... little pete has survived 2 car crashes, a highly obsessive sugar daddy (on the scene), gay bashings as well as some of the hardest partying that a person could put their body through...

they're both totally awesome... and after a number of years of not speaking to each other... little pete has just moved in with his dad.

FYI... big pete is having a few months off work to recover from his most recent near death experience... i'll tell you quickly... he was riding his racer bike home from work after those crazy storms the other week and swerved to dodge a car that was double parked... then his tyre got stuck in a tram track and he flew over the handle bars and hit the ground... people rushed to help him but he said he was ok... got back on his bike and pedalled home.

when he got home his partner kym (a physio he met after a motorbike crash one time) said he didn't look too good and that he should go to hospital. he said he was ok but wanted to lie down... then when big pete went to move he collapsed so kym called an ambulance... so they get to emergency and pete gets checked out... turns out he's only got a broken pelvis and a dislocated collar bone.

petes... this one's for you both:

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